Back again

There has been some extremely difficult times that my family has gone through since the last time I posted a blog. C’s mom passed away very suddenly this summer.

His mother had been dealing with some sort of pneumonia for several months; it had gotten better, but ultimately, came back and she had to go into hospital. After being admitted, the doctors ran tests, determined that she had stage IV lung cancer that may be in her brain and liver, and that they needed to run additional tests. She passed away before the results of these tests could be known.

Grief is a tricky thing. It makes you believe that you could have done a damn thing to stop the person you love from dying – a dangerous thought that can drive you into a self-hatred unlike you’ve ever felt before. It tricks you into feeling guilty for having good days, and tells you that you deserve the very worst of days.

But the good days, are there. Even if only for a brief moment, you are surrounded with the strength of family, the love of many, the comfort of home. We welcomed two new little lives into our family. Our nieces came almost a month apart and they are so beautiful.

C and I have been unable to visit as of recently – the trek to our hometown and back being financially difficult at this moment.  We keep trying for the next weekend and until we are able to see them again, we receive many pictures to help us feel closer.

C graduated from his program this summer, and it was such a proud moment for himself, his family, and his mom. She had been able to see him walk across the stage at his convocation. The pride swells in my as I type this.

This year, I will graduate from my own college program. My current field placement will be ending in a month and ten days. It seems almost surreal to imagine not spending so much time with all the little ones that have grown so much in these last 8 months.

I have been job searching every day in hopes of securing employment before I finish school, but it seems that even now it’s a bit early to be applying. I figure, at least I might make some contacts to bring to my new chapter.

Narcolepsy-wise, things have been going fairly well. I’ve been out of medication several times – almost every month. But I’m working with the success program to help keep my medication consistent. My doctor and I have started working on weaning me off my antidepressant, but we are taking it slow and making sure that I’m feeling well. I’m down to half of my original dose after about 6 weeks of titration. Considering the difficulties I had coming off of this medication before, it has been a breeze.

Finn has been doing amazingly. We recently had to put him on a diet as he was getting a bit chunky, but he seems to really enjoy the frozen green beans we’ve replaced his treats with.

I’ll leave it at that.

Peace.

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